MARY:

We get all kinds here, you know.

Why, two weeks ago we had a graduate student in public administration, a mechanical engineer drawing diagrams of levers and fulcrums all over his napkin. ‘This describes the universe,' he said.

We had a speechwriter from the office of a leading Southern senator. `Y'all know me; y'all know mah record; ah'll be damned if ah'll be damned' was all we heard that weekend.

Once we had a dermatologist, a closet Buddhist-agitator and a five-time Jeopardy champion all in the same weekend.

The dermatologist had come straight from an NRC-funded psoriasis study, standing at the podium in a glory of flakes and scales -- he hadn't really expected to leave. Corporate reps were there -- `We were talking millions,' he said, and I don't think he was referring to the size of his sample. It was sheer hell!

The week before that there was a steel mill foreman who spent his off-shifts memorizing Texaco operas he'd taped -- he knew all the words to La Giaconda in Italian, Mr. Simons, if you can imagine that. He wanted me to chat with him like Beatrice to Dante. Now I have to speak in tongues!

I'm going to point that out to the brass when it comes time to renegotiate my contract. Daddy's chairman of the board, you know -- he'll understand.

(Sighs)

Sometimes I pine for the pimply-faced young ones who come `just to meet someone famous' as they put it. And John Lennon's not available on an hour's notice, let me tell you.

© Dawn Rae Downton 1994